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No Apologies


Chapter 1



Ellie’s POV




“NO! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!” My foster mom Marsha yelled. I just rolled my eyes and pushed past her before going up the stairs and into the room I shared with six other kids. I could still hear Marsha yelling at me from downstairs. She was screaming about how she was tired of me disobeying her and how she never should have taken me in. I had heard it all before though. She had a little fit at least four times a week.



All I had done was stay out past curfew. I hadn’t done anything wrong. If I hadn’t been forced to take the bus I would have been home in time. Instead I missed the bus I needed to take. I’m sure the driver saw me too. He just decided to take off without me. I had to wait nearly forty minutes for the next bus. While I had been waiting some lazy drunk had come over and sat next to me. He kept telling me stories about random things I didn’t care about and ended up spilling his beer all down the front of my shirt.



Another reason Marsha was angry. She had smelt the alcohol on me. Now this wouldn’t have been a problem if I hadn’t been brought home by the police a few night ago for sneaking into a club and having one small drink. They let me off with a warning but that didn’t stop Marsha from punishing me. She hated me and the only reason she kept me around was because of the money from the government.



“What did you do this time?” A voice asked and I turned around to see my foster brother Samuel. He was about three years younger than me and loved to drive me completely insane. Every time I got in trouble it was like Christmas came early for him. He loved to see my life get even worse. His little sister Anna was hiding behind him. She was only four and got scared when Marsha was angry.



“I didn’t do anything.” I glared at Samuel but he didn’t look convinced.



“Oh yeah? Then why is Marsha pissed off?” Samuel smiled smugly and my hands clenched at my sides. This kid was one of the main problems with this foster family. He never left me alone.



“She’s mad because she won’t buy me car so I have to take the bus and that makes me late.” I muttered walking over to my small bed and sitting down. I didn’t mind having a small bed; I normally didn’t sleep in it anyways. I spent more nights sleeping on a park bench then I did sharing a room with a bunch of kids. I was the eldest at seventeen, only one more year before I could leave foster care. I couldn’t wait to get out of here.



“Marsha is mad.” Anna said and I rolled my eyes.



“I know she is Anna. You don’t have to repeat it.” I lay down on the bed and turned to face the wall. I didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. I was tired and just wanted to sleep. I heard the door swing open and the click of high heels on the floor. I groaned and turned back over to see Marsha glaring down at me.



“What now?” I groaned burying my face into my pillow.



“I want you packing your bags.” Marsha began picking all of my things up off the floor and throwing them into a pile at the end of the bed. I watched her for a second before realizing that she was kicking me out. I scrambled out of bed and glared at her.



“You can’t just kick me out!” I exclaimed. I had only been there for about six months. I could usually stay in a place longer than that.



“I’m not kicking you out. A social worker will be here in the morning to take you back to the foster center. You will stay there until your birthday, unless someone is stupid enough to take you in.” Marsha picked up the last few things on the floor and added them to the pile.



“But Marsha---” I started to say.



“Don’t ‘but Marsha’ me!” She snapped. “I have given you so many chances Ellie. I really wanted to help you but I just can’t. You are too out of control!”



“But this time I really didn’t do anything.” I argued but I knew it was a lost cause.



“Pack up Ellie. You need to be ready to leave first thing in the morning.” Marsha tossed my bag onto the bed as well and then stomped out of the room. All the kids were staring at me now. My arguments with Marsha were better than TV in the kids’ minds. I crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn’t believe Marsha was going to send me back to the center. This had been my last chance at having a proper family and I had blown it. No one took in teenagers, they all wanted little kids or babies. I had stayed at the center for nearly eight months before Marsha had taken me in.



“Just go back to whatever you were doing!” I snapped at the kids when they continued to stare at me. The stared at me for a few seconds longer until I glared at them. They all turned away and went back to whatever they had been doing earlier. Meanwhile I had begun shoving my few belongings into my bag. Once I was packed I snuggled into bed and closed my eyes. I just needed to fall asleep so I could escape from the mess that was going on around me.





“Ellie get up!” I heard Marsha’s voice whisper as I began to wake up. She shook me and I slowly opened my eyes. The room was still dark and everyone else must have still been asleep. I got out of bed and grabbed my bag off the floor before following Marsha downstairs. Gracie my social worker stood by the door looking disappointed. This wasn’t an unusual look when it came to be. I always disappointed her.



“You are sure you have everything?” Gracie asked.



“I’m sure.” I walked past Gracie and out the door. I didn’t bother saying goodbye. If no one wanted me there then I wasn’t going to give them a proper goodbye. I walked to the car and got in the passenger’s seat. I could see Gracie and Marsha talking for a minute before Gracie joined me in the car.



“I really thought you could make it work there Ellie.” Gracie said and I had to keep myself from smashing my head against the window. We had one of these talks every time she had to pick me up.



“I didn’t do anything.” I said stubbornly. “Marsha was over reacting.”



Gracie just shook her head at me and pulled the car out onto the road. I stared at the window as we drove, watching as we passed by my old life. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with Samuel anymore. Instead of sharing a room with six kids, I would probably be sharing with twenty. Great.



“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” Gracie said after a few minutes of silence. I glanced over at her but her eyes were on the road.



“Then don’t do anything! Just leave me at the center. It doesn’t matter.” I said and now Gracie glanced at me. Looking into her eyes I could see she was hurt but so was I. I was tired of being thrown into a different family every couple of months.



“You know I care about you Ellie. I want you to grow up well.” Gracie said and I rolled my eyes.



“It’s too late for that. I’m already grown up.” I muttered. Gracie didn’t say another word and I didn’t want her to. I was tired of being taken from place to place and family to family. It didn’t matter how hard I tried I always ended up back where I started, in the center.

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Chapter 2



Ellie’s POV



I had been back at the center for nearly two weeks now. It was the same thing every day. Get up, eat breakfast, watch a movie, eat lunch, get some computer time, go outside, have dinner, play football, bedtime snack and then bed. I felt like I was in prison. I could barely eat my dinner. I was just pushing the food around my plate.



“Hey Ellie! Are you coming?” Peter called from the doorway. He had a football in his hands and a silly grin on his face. Peter was one of the older kids, only a few months younger than me and he always seemed to be stuck by my side.Which wasn’t too bad, it was nice to have a friend around.



“Yeah I’m coming.” I called back to him. I took my plate over to one of the cafeteria workers and gave it to them before running after Peter. We went out to the back yard where the rest of the kids were waiting. A few supervisors were around as well but only because we had a few accidents before. Last week a kid hurt his wrist when he was tackled to hard and just a few days ago someone was hit in the face with the ball and got a bloody nose.



“I’m just going to watch for a bit.” I told Peter. He nodded and went to join everyone else on the field. I walked over to the sidelines and sat on the grass. A few girls were sitting next to me and giggled when one of the other boys winked at them. I rolled my eyes. They should know that they can’t have a boyfriend while they are here. They could get adopted at any time.



I watched the kids play football and laughed when Peter got tackled to the ground. The girls next to me looked over with shocked looks on their faces. I knew they thought I was crazy for thinking it was funny my friend got hurt. I knew Peter wasn’t really hurt though because he glanced over at me and smiled. He was so weird sometimes.



“Ellie?” someone asked and I looked up to see Gracie. She took a seat next to me on the grass but she didn’t look comfortable doing it. “I have some good news.” She told me.



“What? They are going to put better vending machines in the cafeteria?” I asked. The only snacks they had in the machines now were apples and granola bars. We needed some junk food. Gracie seemed to catch the joking tone in my voice.



“Must you be sarcastic all the time?” she asked. I didn’t bother telling her I was being partially serious. There was no point.



“Yes I must.” I told her with a smile.



“I have a family who wants to meet with you.” Gracie said. My eyes widened and my mouth nearly fell open.



“Seriously?” I asked. I had thought I would be stuck here until my birthday.



“Would I joke about something like this?” Gracie asked and I hugged her. She was really like my guardian angel. When I thought everything was lost she managed to find some way to fix it. I knew I would have to work really hard this time though. I needed to make sure I didn’t screw up again.



“When are they coming?” I asked pulling away from the hug.



“Tomorrow after lunch.” Gracie said. I managed a small smile. I knew my chances of actually going home with the family were nonexistent but at least Gracie had managed to them to at least consider fostering me. A small chance was better than no chance.



“I expect you to be on your best behaviour. You are running out of chances Ellie.” Gracie warned.



“I know.” I told her and she smiled at me before walking back into the building. I stayed out a watched the game for a while longer before retiring to my room and going to bed. Since I had skipped dinner I was feeling more tired than usual and knew I needed a good night’s sleep if I was going to make a good impression tomorrow.





When I awoke the next morning it was because one of the other kids sharing the room had the speakers blasting rock music. I covered my head with my pillow but it didn’t do much to block the noise. Eventually I rolled myself out of bed and changed into clean clothes before going to the cafeteria. I collected my food from one of the workers and walked over to sit with Peter.



“I heard you have a family coming to see you today.” He said when I sat down.I nodded and began eating my breakfast. “You’re lucky.”



“I wouldn’t call myself lucky.” I said.



“Did I tell you my brother is coming? He’s going to try and get them to let me live with him.” Peter smiled.



“That’s great Peter.” I smiled back at him. He had mentioned his brother to me a few times before. He sounded like a good guy to me and I don’t know why they wouldn’t let Peter go home with him. He was almost eighteen after all.



“Yeah, so do you know anything about this family who wants to take you in?” Peter asked. For a second I thought about it. Usually the social workers would snitch a few details about the families. I wonder why Gracie hadn’t told me anything yet.



“Not really.” I said and picked at my food while Peter watched me carefully. It was fine at first but then it started to get creepy. “Are you okay?” I asked.



“I’m fine. Are you okay?” Peter asked clearly oblivious to the fact that he had been staring...or he just saw nothing wrong with it.



“I’m fine...” I said slowly. Peter finally looked away and went back to eating and I let out a sigh of relief. I hated being center of attention. I always felt like people were watching me because I was doing something wrong.



“Ellie over here!” I heard Gracie shout from the door. I looked over all the other kids who were eating their breakfast and Gracie was waving me over. I shovelled a few more bites of food into my mouth figuring I wouldn’t be coming back and then walked across the room to where she was waiting.



“You should try not to be such a pig.” She scolded. “You know sometimes I swear you are just another one of the boys.” She shook her head and brushed my clothes off.



“What’s going on Gracie?” I asked pushing her hands away as she reached to fix my hair which was hanging in a loose braid down my back.



“The family is here a bit early. We got our signals crossed. Come on.” She took me by my arm and began leading me to her office. I followed closely behind her but stopped walking when we reached the door. I looked at the door and then back to Gracie. “It will be fine Ellie. Just be yourself.”



“That’s what gets me kicked out.” I reminded her. I walked into the office anyway and was greeted by three strangers. The parents smiled at me and their daughter, who looked around my age, walked over and hugged me. I stood there confused for a second before she pulled away.



“Hi, I’m Kyra Rye.” She said holding her hand out.



“Ellie...” I muttered shaking her hand. I looked past Kyra at her parents who were sitting quietly on the couch.



“Ellie, Mr and Mrs Rye are interesting in foster care. They wanted someone older who could become friends with Kyra.” Gracie explained.



“We don’t have to worry about that. I know we will be great friends.” Kyra smiled at me and I managed a half smile back at her.



“We understand that you have had some issues with other families but we would like the chance to get to know you and let you stay with us.” Mr. Rye said. It sounded to me like they were trying to convince me to give them a chance not the other way around.



“Um okay.” I said unsure about what I was supposed to say.



“Ellie Why don’t you and Kyra go talk outside?” Gracie suggested and I rolled my eyes. It was so obvious she was just trying to get rid of us. I thought for sure she would want me to talk with my parents, but if I didn’t have to that was even better. I walked out of the room and Kyra followed closely behind me.



“Do you like the beach?” Kyra asked. “We live close to the beach.”



“The beach is cool.” I said. I had only lived near a beach once before and I spent most of my time out in the water or lying in the sand.



“What about music? What kind of music do you like?” Kyra asked and I felt like I was getting interrogated.



“Anything.” I replied vaguely.



“Do you have any boyfriends?” she asked next. “I don’t but I have a really good friend who’s a boy. His name is Nick. We’ve been friends since forever.” Kyra said so quickly I almost didn’t catch any of it. No wonder she didn’t have a boyfriend. No guy would ever get a chance to ask her out because she talked too much.



“That’s great Kyra.” I sad in a sarcastic tone but I’m sure she didn’t notice.



“So no boyfriends?” Kyra clarified.



“No, it’s hard to have a boyfriend when you are moved all over the place.” I told her. I had never had a serious relationship, but I had gone on a few dates. Having a boyfriend just never seemed like something I wanted. It was so much simpler with no rules.



“Well don’t worry about that.” Kyra smiled at me. I wasn’t really sure what I was worried about but decided to go with it. It seemed like it would be hard to argue with this girl. “If my parents say you can come home with us then you’ll be staying for a long time.”



“Great.” I smiled at her. Hopefully they didn’t have strict rules and I would be able to get out of the house a lot.

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